Eldest sibling struggles with brother’s demanding care of aging parents
A parenting columnist advises an older sister to set limits on assisting her parents after her brother’s over-involvement leaves them exhausted.
A reader describes how her brother treats their elderly parents as if they were much younger, asking their mother to babysit his children for weeks and encouraging their father, who has cataracts, to drive after bar-hopping. The sister, now in her late 40s, reports her mother’s nightly complaints of exhaustion and joint pain and worries about potential accidents involving her father. The advice column responds that the parents are competent adults who can make their own choices, and the sister cannot force them to change.
Instead, she should stop repeatedly rescuing them, set clear limits on her own involvement, and encourage the parents to consult doctors if health issues arise. Ultimately, lasting change will depend on the parents deciding to set boundaries themselves.
