Expert offers five steps for parents seeking to mend estranged child relationships

According to a recent YouGov poll, a sizable share of U.S. adults report being estranged from a close family member, and most parents say they would consider reconciling. Research published in the Journal of Marriage and Family shows that a large majority of adult children eventually re-establish contact with estranged mothers or fathers. Texas-based psychologist Richard Blake says the first step is to secure personal stability through healthy habits and community support.

He then recommends active listening, validating the other’s perspective, and refraining from immediate correction. Blake warns that moralized language—terms like “toxic” or “narcissist”—hinders compromise, and suggests probing for specific actions behind such labels. Finally, he urges the use of “I” statements and avoidance of absolute terms, while acknowledging that safety-related situations may preclude further communication.